So excited for the 4th!

I dont know why but I just absolutely love the 4th of July! This year I decided we are deffineitly going to do something. The past 4 years we've ended up going to fireowrks, but I wished we could have taken advantage of some of the festivals in town. We are going to Corporate Woods this year. I've been told that it is a pretty good time. I really wanted to go to Riverfest, but my father has something against the river and talked me out of it...ah well. Grandma and Papa are going with us of course! Makenna is so excited about tomorrow too! There is a parade in town in the morning and then we will come home for naps and get everything ready to spend the rest of the day at CW. I got the kids really cute outfits and I can't wait to take cute pics of them! The weather is also supposed to be absolutely gorgeous! High of only 80! Woo Hoo! Everyone have a safe and fun 4th!!!

It is insanely hot in our house!

Our A/C has been out since thursday. Our landlord has sent over the maintenance guys, but they couldn't get it working. They are coming back tomorrow to install a new one supposedly (which probably translates into a unit that is old from another location, that may or may not work). But this is rediculous. Poor Makenna just woke up screaming and I went up to check on her and the poor kid was drenched in sweat and her sheets are completely soaked. Good thing Steve(landlord) has a nice cool house in Hallbrook while his tenants are sweating their asses off. Must suck to be rich and not have to care about the little people... I know he is a 'friend' of Dad's but its really sad that he is treating us this way. Dad is going to go to his office tomorrow and ask him what the hell is going on.

Homework...

Charlie and I have assigned ourselves nightly homework. We will sit down on the couch everynight whether or not the kids are asleep, awake, behaving, (more than likely) mis-behaving, and reflect, WITH EACH OTHER, on our days. Tonight was our first night, and it was so nice to connect just for a few minutes. Although I kind of ruined it when I showed him the horrible 'thing' I have growing on my leg at the moment and he went to bed saying he felt 'sick'...lol

Not so good Jackson update.

We had Jack's 2 month check up. He is doing well in the growing dept. 11lbs 5.5oz, & 24.25" so hes tall and skinny! But his head is not growing at the 'normal' rate. In fact, it hasn't grown since his 2 week check up. The Dr, is goign to monitor it and as long as it starts growing there is nothing to worry about. Jackson also has a bump on his forehead. The dr isn't too concerned about the bump itself, but the area around it is not typical of what he thinks it is, so he is also going to keep a close eye on that. Then, the icing on the cake....his left testicle has still not dropped. The Dr said if it wasn't down by now, it most likely wont, and at his 4 month appt, we will have to schedule surgery to correct it. I am so scared, sad, worried and upset. It seems like there are so many things that the Dr wants to keep a close eye on and it makes me so nervous. As a mom, you can't help but think the worst. I just want my baby boy to be healthy. He also got 4 shots today and one oral vaccination. He is more cranky tonight than he has ever been. He doesn't even want to snuggle me like he usually does and I really want to snuggle him. I feel like my cup is about to overflow. I have so much on my mind, the last thing I expected was a not so good routine trip to the pediatrician. Keep my Jack-Jack in your thoughts and prayers please...

I survived! & funny Mak story.

And amazingly enough...I am still sane!

This week was a long stressful one, but I'm still here. Makenna had a hard time adjusting to having the kids at the house. She never has really been jealous around or b/c of Jackson, but having 3 new kids at the house was a bit much for her. She did a lot of "my mommy"s and all the toys were "MINE!" and she even threw in a few "shut up baby"s in there as well. Something I have never heard before...

I also witnessed her first correct usage of a 'bad' word. The 4 month old I watch is a VERY fussy baby, pretty much cries constantly for no appearant reason. I had her down for the nap and I had just heard her wake up and start crying. All of a sudden Makenna gets up from her show walks through the room and says "shit". I didn't say anything, b/c I was sure she must have been saying something that just sounded like it...But oh no, next thing I know, she is at the foot of the stairs yellling at baby Lauren to be quiet! I lost it at that point...I realized that baby Lauren had interruped her Backyardigan's and she was NOT happy! She did not understand why I found so much humor in it...LOL

I want my Charlie back.

The guy that I fell in love with. The guy that actually put effort into making me happy. The one who was there for me when I needed him most and let me be there for him in his darkest hours. I want the person who I could dream out loud with and not sound like an idiot. I want my fun-loving, harley riding, I love my girl, guy back.

I don't know who sleeps in bed with me anymore...

Decisions.

I find myself facing a very difficult decision. I have the power, but am not sure which path to choose. Which is best for me and my family. One path might be easygoing at first but rockier in the long run, or the other might start off really rocky, but be smooth sailing around the bend. Without a crystal ball, I have no way of knowing. The thing is, I feel like I'm already on the rocky path, looking, HOPING, around every bend for it to get smoother, but alas...more rocks...even mountains. So do I stick with it, and hang on to the hope? However diminished it seems? Or jump paths and risk that the grass may not in fact be greener...

decisions...decisions...