depressing thoughts.

I have been trying to ignore this 'feeling' I have had since I found out I was preggo. I remember when I was pregnant with Mak, I got the same feeling, but i remember it going it away pretty quickly, as I grew more excited. But I can't shake it this time around. Its like I'm afraid to let myself get attached to this pregnancy. Like I'm trying to keep mysef from being let down or upset when/if we find out something is wrong. I hate it. I feel like the more I feel this way, the likelier that something will go wrong, thus it would be my fault if something did happen. Its a horrible feeling. I hate it. But I can't stop it. I need to know everything is ok. I have my sonogram next tuesday, so hopefully that will put some ease to these thoughts/feelings. I know every pregnancy is different, but this one has been 150% more nerve-racking than my first pregnancy ever was. I really hope this U/S goes well on Tuesday, I think that will reassure me that everything is ok. I don't even care if we are able to find out what we are having, as long as it proves that my 'feelngs' are wrong.