I love my kids

Just felt like expressing it on my blog...not that it was ever in question.

I wish I had a picture of Makenna last night who found her Pumpkin costume from 2 years ago and put it on along with her dress up skirt and princess shoes and slip on earrings. She was quite the sight!

Jackson is turning into such a big boy as I'm sitting here he is sitting in his high chair chowing on some Cherrios...his new favorite thing in the world!

I just love them both to bits and pieces!

Ready

So I haven't written in awhile about anything. Things are about to change, a lot. Charlie and I have admitted defeat and are moving our family in with my mom and dad. Things have just gotten to a point, where we would never be able to pull ourselves out of the hole we are in. Getting a little help here and there just was not going to help in the big picture. I obviously still have not found a job and the bills just keep coming. Mom and Dad are so awesome. Its nothing anyone wants to do at this stage in their lives. We feel guilty because instead of Mom and Dad becoming empty nesters, they are taking in a whole family again. It also means we pretty much have to take over their house. We are going to make the most of it because we know this is our only chance to get our lives straightened out and to make the life we want for our kids. Its a fresh start for us. I am more hopefull and excited about the future then I've been in a very long time.
Hogan, our dog, is leaving us on Friday. This dog has been a thorn in my side since we brought him home 3 years ago. As much as I have not liked him, I am still going to miss having him around. I know it was not his fault that he had the problems he had. It was ours. His new home has a full fenced acre to run on and another Boxer friend for him to play with. We met thes last week and they are so excited to have Hogan join their family. They are coming on Friday to pick him up and we will say our last good byes to our family pet.
So as I said, lots of things are changing, but all is for the better. I am hopeful, excited and optimistic for the future now. I don't wake up with that sinking feeling in my chest anymore and I can finally see light at the end of our tunnel.
Thanks Mom and Dad. I love you.

Changes...

You like my new blog design?



Stay tuned for life updates later too.

Big girls don't cry... they scream!

This is a very true statement made by Makenna today. I about died laughing!

Some random Makenna cuteness:

OMG! I want to beat her sometimes! and Charlie too.

Ok, so I would never beat my child, but seriously, she has been HORRIBLE this week. I have never seen such blatent, rotten, snotty behavior out of a 2 year old in my life. I know she is 2 and all, but come on. Time out works rarely, spankings...HA..., she could give a rats ass what her punishment is. Redirecting her to something else, just results in trouble somewhere else. She wont listen, she wont stay in bed, in fact, she climbs her gate to get out of her bedroom. I just caught her trying to sneak back into her room after sneaking out. Unfortunately for her, she was a bit too slow, but I found out her method and removed her ' escape ladder'. She is too smart for her own good. My mom payed for us to enroll her in dance class once a week. I was thinking that might help her in her abundance of energy and attitude, but its only been one week. They jury is still out on that one. I love her to pieces, but right now, I really don't like her very much.
Charlie doesn't help the situation either. He's all bark and no discipline. And he talks, and talks, and talks, and tries to reason with her and when that doesn't work...its up to me to be the bad guy. Tonight he spanked her for refusing to listen again and again, then proceeded to console her, and talk to her, and appologize to her, and blah blah blah, then he let her continue to jump on the bed, which was what got her spanked in the first place...so he pretty much undid anything that might have been accomplished by letting her know that he's a big sap and will ultimately let her do whatever she wants. Gawd hes an IDIOT! We deffinitely are not on the same page, or the same universe for that matter, as far as our parenting goes. I expect good behavior, he expects to play and leave me to clean up the discipline issues. Just like everything else in our life. Ok, but I'm not going there...that might be a realllllllly long blog.
Anyway, back to my original issue. I know everyone told me 3s are worse than 2's but I really didn't think it could be this bad...and shes not even 3! God help me!

Job saga drama

I still have no job.

I probably wont have a job either.

The job I interviewed for 5 weeks ago and was told that I was hired right away has turned into a nightmare. I waited for 3 weeks to get a 'pesonality screen' test e-mailed to me. Durring that 3 weeks I called quite often to check in with the manager who each time assured me the job was mine and that the HR people were just slow and stupid. So finally, I get the e-mail and complete the test and send it back immediately. The next day (Dec 23) , I get a call from the manager and she 'officially' offers me the assistant manager position. We discuss salary and start date. She told me she just had to wait for the approval for the salary (which was higher than I had requested). But the job was mine. We tentatively set January 5th as my start date pending my drug screen and the approval from HR. I never heard from the manager as to when my drug screen was to be done. I called her tuesday (Dec 30th) to find out what the deal is and now I'm told that she is still waiting for approval to hire me for the position. ????WHAT??? I was under the impression I was already offered the job. She said not to worry that she would call me Monday, Jan 5th (mind you this is the date I was 'supposed' to start). I didn't hear from her, so I called that afternoon and ask her what was up. Her answer..."Well we decided to keep the girl we have in the position." She then offered me the leasing poisiton that I had orriginally interviewed for. WRONG AGAIN!!! Nope, I have to go in and re-interview, from scratch, this time with the DM who has taken over the hiring process.

So essentially I have thought I had a job for 5 weeks only to find out that nope, a whole lotta smoke has been blown up my a$$ and I am still jobless.

Wanna guess how pissed off I am???

I'm amazed

Less than 24 hours after Jackson's surgery, he was back to 'normal'. As horrible as he looked and felt when we left the hospital and most of that afternoon, I would never have guessed that that evening and today, he would be bouncing on us, rolling all over the place, babbling, laughing, and just generally being the joyful boy he always has been! He wakes up from his naps and squealing with happy noises, he attempts to climb all over us when we are holding him and seems to not even remember that he has just had some pretty major surgery. I've kept him on his pain medication and will continue through the weekend. I don't want to not give it to him and end up having him in a lot of pain again. I will wean him off starting monday as long as everything goes ok. I also get to take off his bandages. I'm kind of excited to see how his boo-boos look under the dressings. Ok, maybe curious is a better word. But I am just so amazed at how well he has bounced back from this. I am so glad we didn't wait until he was older. Dr DeMarco said that the same day of Jack's surgery he was doing an identical one on a 7 year old boy and that boy would take about 4 times as long to recover. I feel horrible for that boy and his parents.
I'll post new pics of Jackson tomorrow in his "My Operation was Bearable at Children's Mercy" T-shirt. Granted its a size 2/4 but its still his shirt and he earned it!

Jackson's Surgery update

Well, its all over!
Lastnight I put him to bed after lots of extra cuddles and kisses. I woke him up around 12:30am for another bottle before the 1:30 deadline. The look of confusion on his face was priceless. He ate about 2 oz so it was hardly worth it. I went to bed around 1:30 and 4.5 hours later, it was time to get up and get ready to head to Children's Mercy. I gave him a quick bath and buckled him into his carseat and off we were. We arrived at CM at 6:30am and were called back to the pre-op room. I was really worried that they would be doing the IV there, but to my reliefe, they do it once he is already asleep. So they brought out the cutest little hospital gown which I would have stolen if they hadn't stripped him down by the time we got to see him. He looked so cute in it. They took his vitals and we waited for the Drs to come visit with us.
Dr DeMarco is his urologist and he came and pretty much went over everything we had talked about at his appointment. The worst case scenario would be if the testicle was in his belly and he would need 2 surgeries to move it down. Then, it was time to carry Jack to the little wheeled crib and say goodbye as they wheeled him away. What an empty feeling that is. We went to the waiting room and twiddled our thumbs for about an hour and a half. Finally, Dr. DeMarco came back and said that everything was finished. The testicle was in his belly, but thankfully, it was low enough that he was able to get it done in this surgery. So no more surgeries for my baby! Woo Hoo.
It was another 30 minutes or so before they came to get us to see him. This is when things got hard. When we got back there, they had us go to ta little area, and then they carried him out. It was so sad because as soon as they handed him to me he started screaming. Not "OMG Mom, I'm so happy to see you" scream, but 'OMG, Mommy, it hurts so bad" scream. The nurse said that he was having a lot of pain and they hadn't gotten his pain under control. They went ahead and got us to try to calm him down. As I was holding him trying to get him calmed down, the nurse called the on-call Dr to get approval for some IV pain meds as well as a dose of oral meds. Thank goodness they got ahold of the Dr immediately and they gave him the IV meds. Those took about 5 minutes to fully kick in and he calmed down enough to where we could give him the oral dose. 10 minutes later, he was passed out. He was maxed out on pain meds in the hospital.
I don't think I really expected him to be in that much pain. It really scared me seeing him hurting so bad. Especially seeing my baby boy who never cries become so inconsolable. It was really heartbreaking. We got him dressed and in his carseat along with some extra padding on his front side. He slept the whole way home even with us stopping for his perscription.
The first few hours home were still rough, but amazingly enough, by this evening, he was almost back to his happy go lucky self. He has an incision above his belly button, one in his lower abdomen, and one on his scrotum. He still winces every now and then, but overall he seems to be handling it all very well. In fact, when I woke him up from nap earlier today, he had turned over onto his tummy and when he saw me, he got up on his hands and knees! That was the first time he's gotten up on all fours! I think its funny though because the nurse had told us that he wouldn't be sitting or pulling up while on his meds b/c they would make him so loopy, and here is my crazy kid accomplishing a milestone all hopped up on the pain killers! LOL

I'm so glad this is over!