trying to be more positive...

So I know I've been less than uplifting in my posts lately. I'm going to try to be more positive from here on out...
Some things to look forward to...
I screwed up on my tax refund, so instead of $300 we are getting back $1300! So thats good.
Also, the fed is working on a tax rebate that will be sending out 'free' money! From what I can tell we should be recieving and aditional $1500 this summer b/c of this rebate! Here's what I'm talking about if you haven't seen it...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22782454/

So we never heard anything about the house. I'm sad, and disappointed, but everyone keeps telling me that its meant to be and something better will come along...although that was a pretty sweet deal. Oh well.

Terri finds out tomorrow at 8am what they are having! I'm still thinking girl, but she thinks another boy. Either way as long as all these babies are healthy, I'll be happy! Jack and their baby will be 8 weeks apart! That is awesome! I'm so excited the cousins will be so close in age!

My mom is having a knee replaced on tuesday. I hope it all goes well. I'm taking off Wednesday to hang out with her in the hospital. So if everyone can send a nice thought her way that's be great!

Ok thats all I got for now...

My new philosophy on my life...

We toured a house on Sunday. It was PERFECT! Price, location, space, yard...PERFECT! The only problem...we didn't get it. The guy said he'd make his decision today (monday) and call. Well its now 9:22pm and no phone call. I knew it wouldn't work out...Its kind of a running theme in my life.

When life gives you lemons, they're all rotten and unsuitable for lemonade...


...and yes I'm feeling VERY sorry for myself and I don't care.

F*ck You Uncle Sam!

Panic is really setting in now. I dont know what we are going to do. We were banking on the refund from taxes that we thought we should be getting. After last year ($2000), we figured the refund would be enough to put a deposit on where ever we move and be enough to buy the baby bed and a few other necessities. I just had our taxes done and our refund is only $300.00 . If it wasn't for the child credit, we'd owe over $700.00 I claimed what I was told to, to ensure that we wouldn't owe any taxes this year, but somehow, they still didn't take out enough. I don't get it. I started bawling when I was told that that was all we are getting back. I don't know what we are going to do now. I'm really starting to get depressed about everything.

I'm in love with another guy...

But its ok...I'm supposed to! I have fallen in love with my baby Jack. I hate to say it, but finally... I feel so much love building between me and this new little man. I'm starting to really feel the bond that I remember feeling with my pregnancy with Mak.
Even though his never ending kicks are depriving me of some much needed sleep and creating so much hip pain that I colapse at any given moment due to the pain I am so in love with him. I haven't even seen him yet. I think it was the last U/S that did it. I saw him looking more and more like a big boy and at one point he waved. It sounds cheesey and all but it was like he was telling me "everything will be ok mommy, i love you". It hit me right in the heart. I felt that connection and ever since then, I can't wait for the day when I finally get to meet him. Even with all the stress in our lives right now...not knowing where we are going to live, not having a single thing ready for Jack, and generally being unprepared...I know that we will all be ok. Makenna is being immensly trying these days. But when she comes up and kisses baby jack my heart melts. No matter how she treats her baby doll, I think she will be an excellent big sister. I will have my 'perfect' family!

Feeling pregnant...and it sucks!

Am I allowed to start bitching yet? I'm 25 weeks now and am already feeling very 'done' with the whole being pregnant thing. This kid moves around constantly and so much that he makes my stomache queasy. Kinda like the 'car sickness' feeling. I don't care for that much at all. I had another U/S last friday and it is amazing how much he has grown in just a few short weeks! He is looking more and more like a 'real' boy! I only got one pic b/c the U/S tech was backed up. My blood pressure is still high, but still just a point below where they become very concerned. They are still going to watch me closely and i will have another couple of U/Ss to make sure his amnio fluid levels are where they should be. The main reason I was induced with Mak is b/c her fluid levels were 1/4 of what they should have been and I guess with my high bp it can make the fluid low or something. Oh well, as long he is healthy thats all that matters. I have a headache now, so I'm going to end now, I'll get the pic of the U/S scanned first though...
Here's my hansome baby boy!

Puke is gross!

We finally had our first experience with throw up with Makenna yesterday. I went to pick her up from Kim's and I walk in and the other little girl's Mommy was like "your baby is getting sick..." I was like what the heck? Then I see poor Mak and Kim at the kitchen sink and throw up all over them both. I felt so bad for them! Makenna was so panic-y. She didn't know what the heck was going on and my heart broke for her. She got sick a few more times through out the evening and then went to bed. I really hope this is not a recurring illness! It was not fun and very nasty!

I'm moving to Wichita...

I wish...

We just got home (loni it took us until 6:45 to get home b/c Charlie wanted to go 'a faster way' so he is not allowed to say anything about my damn GPS anymore....the navigational genious...)
Anyway...we just got home from visting my best friend Loni and her beautiful family in Wichita! I had so much fun! Even though it was only 2 days and I was sick and we had some 'issues' with directions it turned out to be a great time. It was her older daughter's 4th birthday. Natalie is deffinetly not a child wanting for anything...although I bet Loni would beg to differ with the 'not wanting' part...lol
We left home Saturday morning at about 10 am and made it to our hotel room at around 12:30...(charlie likes to drive fast) Makenna is not a big fan of car rides longer than 5 minutes and trying to reason with a 20 month old about how "you'll have so much fun once we get there!" just is wasting our breath. But alas, she fell asleep after throwing a fit for about 30 minutes and the rest of the trip out was rather quiet! We got to our hotel room and Makenna had a blast jumping on the oh so comfy bed. She was a bit of a spaz this weekend. After settling in a bit we got ready to go grab a bite to eat at my used-to-be favorite fast food joint Spangles. It was not so good however, and I don't think I'll be dining there again...until the next trip to taw-town.
So this is when the fun begins. We leave the restraunt to head to the birthday party. Before we had left KC I had programmed all the addresses into my GPS system (the piece of shit as Charlie refers to it now). However, the particular address for the party was on a non-existent street according to all the maping websites. So I found what I thought was the equivilant address on Google maps and punched it into my TOM TOM. Unfortunately, it was wrong...WAY WRONG. What should have been about a 10 minute car ride from our hotel turned into us being lost for over an hour! This was not a pleasant time as we spent most of the 'adventure' ready to kill each other. He refused to stop at a gas station to ask where the Wild West World was 15 minutes into being lost, and according to him it was my fault that we didn't bring a physical map with us and were just relying on the 'piece of shit' to get us places. (I didn't point out to him that had we infact stopped at a gas station, I would not have been opposed to purchasing a 'physical map', but since he refused to stop...well...'nuf said) Anyhoo...after driving around aimlessly in a city we are in no way familiar with he finally agreed to stop at a gas station...after all we were low on fuel... I go in and ask the clerk where to find the now defunct Wild West World and lo and behold he pointed us straight there! Once we finished fueling up we made our way once again to the party and arrived 10 short minutes later... Since we had said we'd be there an hour ago everyone was relieved to see we had infact made it!
I finally got to see Loni and her hubby and her adorable kiddos and her mom and dad! I love her family! Natalie's Luau was a hit and after the party we went back to their house. We ordered some italian delivery and just hung out and had a good time! We headed back to the hotel around 9:30pm and the next morning we woke up grabed some breakfast at a horrible restraunt...(his pick) Then we headed back over to Loni's house for some GOOD food! Afterall, you can't screw up a sloppy joe! It was gourmet compared to breakfast! LOL. We spent another couple of hours sitting talking and remeniscing and watching the girls all play together! Its so neat seeing our kids play together. Who'd have thought that we would both be parents now! But it is so neat! I am so glad that Loni and I have remained so close over the years! I really do wish that I could live closer to her. Afterall its only 2.5 hours away from KC!

Here are the pics from this weekend!
All the girls!


Me and my buddy!


Our first born! (Vanessa was still napping)


Mak opening her present from Aunt Loni


Makenna loves her Aunt Loni!


"Don't bother us...We're eatin' sgetti"


Superstar!


Vanessa...just being cute!


Our girls!