I really don't know what/how I feel about Charles right now. He simply refuses to grow up and be resposible and make sacrifices to better our lives...Don't get me wrong, he 'talks' all the time about what he wants in life (house, new car, vacation...) But when it comes to actually doing anything to achieve these goals, well, thats where the problem lies. I went back to work so that we could pay off our debt and eventually buy a home. This goal is VERY important to me. And I'm willing to sacrafice just abut any good time to save for this. But I can't get him on the same page. He doesn't seem to want to understand the meaning of 'working for what you want'. SUre he works long hours, but on the weekend, I can almost guarantee you our paychecks are gone by Monday. Then he bitches about working 'all these fucking hours for nothing'...well, dear, its your own fucking fault. Lately I find myself wondering..."would I be better off without him?" I know I could make it on my own. It would be tight, but hell it wouldn't be that different than what we're dealing with now. But I know I can sacrifice what it takes to obtain my goals. I feel like he's holding us back...me back... I do love him, but I really dont like him at all right now.... This wednesday I came home and was feeling sick to my stomache. I was laying on the couch when he got home and he asked me what was wrong so I told him....so he proceeds to go sit on his chair and stay there the remainder of the evening while I: cook dinner, feed Mak, give Mak a bath, pick up her toys, put away dinner, start a load of laundry, a load of our clothes, and feed the f-ing dog. Then he wants to know why I'm being 'shitty' to him....uh..gee...
Ok, I'm done for now...until next time...
Thursday, August 9, 2007
I love you, I just dont really like you right now...
Posted by Liz at 6:36 PM
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1 comments:
omg I completely understand! Mine keeps saying he's ooking for a better job but it's like I am keeping us comfortable for right ow so it's not a ressing issue. And on top of working I am expected to keep up the house and kids. It is a constant battle for me, but you know I just figure that it really is better than going through every day alone. I was alone for so long believe me as much as I get frustrated and think that he is not contributing to his part when i take a step back and look at the big picture from a different perspective he is doing what he considers a significant amount of work. And it does take effort for him to do what he does I just have higher standards for myself and my family than he does.
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