Monday, August 18, 2008

getting scared

Jackson's appt is next tuesday. I'm really worried about this one. At his 2 month check up the Dr said that we would schedule his surgery to drop his testicle at his 4 month check up. I know this is a relatively routine proceedure, but funny thing is NO ONE on any of my on-line parenting community boards, has any experience with it. I've grown to really trust and seek advise from my on-line friends, and to have not one mom know anything about this, really doesn't help my nerves. We have moms from every walk of life that have gone through some pretty insane situations with thier babies and not one person has a son or knows a friend who has a son who has had this surgery. I'm going to post again to my most active boards asking if anyone has any input, because I just need some reassurance. I hate the thought of leaving him in the hospital even though it is out patient, I still get so nervous about it. I have to be the strong one b/c Charlie isn't, so I have to pretend that I'm confident everything is going to be ok. I have to put on the "I know whats going on, so its all ok" act to keep him calm. When we talk about it I can't let on how scared and nervous I am. Even people I try to talk to just brush it off saying "well its pretty routine right, ... so don't worry about it." Not really what I'm looking for. I need someone to listen to how scared I am, however silly or irrational it might be. My baby is going to be put to sleep and cut on. I'm going to have to sign the waiver saying your child could (although not likely) die. I'm NOT ok with this. Yes I understand why it is happening, but its not comforting. I hate this.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Liz, I'm not going to say "Don't worry, everything will be OK." It will be OK, but I'm not gonna tell you to do something that would be impossible for any loving mother. I can only say that I hope next Wednesday gets here for you very fast. Keep us posted. Love Patty

Miss-buggy said...

I would be worried and sacred too. I know I am commenting very late.
I am actually surprised they want to do surgery. I know of a little boy who they thought the same thing would need to be done but they gave him time to let it drop. It did drop. The little guy never needed surgery.
(not my son)
I hope it all goes well.
What you feel is justifiable, I don't know exactly where you are coming from but your feelings are just as real as anyone else's. I would be nervous too.
I believe it will be ok. HUGS